


I Can't Believe That Anybody Ever Really Starts To Fall In Love With Me

by midnightwriter



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon compliant until s06e15, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Multi, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 10:05:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11228721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightwriter/pseuds/midnightwriter
Summary: In the old world, Soulmates and Soulmarks were extremely important, the guarantee of happiness. In this new world, they were irrelevant or the guarantee of suffering.The discovery of his Soulmate was an accident, as most things in Daryl's life tended to be.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic for this pairing and it's dedicated to R. She's the real shipper here, I'm actually a Rickyler. So I hope the characters are not very OOC. She's also the person who spent three hours talking about Soulmates AU with me, which lead to me writing this fic. R, this fic is yours!
> 
> IMPORTANT: This story has only one chapter. The second one is a glossary of terms, if you want, you can read it first and come to the fic later. And if there's a trigger I forgot to tag, let me know in the comments.
> 
> English isn't my first language and I don't have a beta, so I appreciate if you point mistakes and typos. Hope you enjoy!

 

**I**

Before the apocalypse, Soulmates and Soulmarks were extremely important, the guarantee of happiness. They were the content of novels, movies, TV shows, songs and treated as the feature that truly made humans different from the other animals. Nowadays, they were nothing but a reminder of the world that once was. If before they had agencies working to make you find the one Soulmark that would match yours, to help you find your happy ending, nowadays it was a bitter subject to those who remained alive.

And even with all of these agencies, many people would never find their One. Now, with most of the humanity rotting or too scared to worry about true love, it was almost impossible to be happy after finding the matching Soulmark. You would kill a walker and, right after, discover that its mark matched yours, many people would reach their limit at this and let themselves be bitten or kill themselves so they could be with their One. Or you would find the matching mark just to see that person die days after and your death would, usually, not be far. Those who had found their match before the apocalypse would often become Soulwidows/Soulwidowers and the pain of losing a Bonded connection was almost unbearable, leading many to an estate of mental and physical instability, a completely understandable reaction after losing the other half of your soul.

It was fair to assume that the world of today was not a place for happy endings, only endings. But still, the new order of the world didn't stop the Soulmarks from existing.

Scientists had made many discoveries during the past centuries about the Soulmark, however, the choice always seemed random, the universe playing with humans, trying to see if they could put some sense into its disorganized logic. You were born with a Soulmark or it would show up later in your life, a mark that would be different from every other mark in this world, except the mark of your Soulmate. These two (or three, in some rare cases of a Soul-multiple-split) were a perfect match: same position and place in the body, same size and color, and they would show up on the date of the birth of your One.

Being born with one meant that your Soulmate was already born. Children (their parents, actually) and teens usually threw a big party when a Soulmark appeared on them after years of being Unmarked. The private and government agencies that helped register and track Marks appeared in the 1800s, while some countries had them since many centuries ago, but only in 1968 theses agencies started working on a worldwide level, facilitating the meeting of Soulmates. It was estimated that before the foundation of these agencies, there was a chance of 30% or less that you would meet your Soulmate during your lifetime. In the year before the apocalypse, this rating was up to 64%, due mostly to a large number of people in poverty or distant locations that could not be reached by these agencies.

Even thought this success rates, there were other issues: people who died in their early years; people whose Soulmates were born too many decades apart and ended up dying as Unbonded or their counterparts who lived their whole lives as Unmarked; people who didn't want to find or be found and hid their Soulmark with tattoos or scars; people who forged their Soulmarks so they could be matched with someone they already knew - it usually happened to celebrities, so it was common for them to hide it with makeup whenever in public. It was far from perfect before and despite everything you could still go through your whole life without knowing your One. But, in these days, it was beyond a miracle to find a matching Soulmark.

Of course, every rule had its exception. Glenn and Maggie found each other amidst all this adversity. The light at the end of the tunnel, telling their tale of success to help spread hope amongst the survivors. So inspiring that many people decided to ignore their Soulmarks to try and find love somewhere else since that most people were Soulwidows/Soulwidowers or there was simply no use in trying to wait for your One anymore.

In the old world, Soulmates and Soulmarks were extremely important, the guarantee of happiness. In this new world, they were irrelevant or the guarantee of suffering.

Daryl's mark appeared when he was almost fourteen and it took him weeks to find it, burned into his back between all the other painful memories and scars he had there. When a Soulmark appeared, traditionally, you would feel some discomfort, like an itch or sometimes pain, it varied. Researchers suggested that the discomfort was proportional to the strength of your bond. Babies and younger children and their caretakers could mistake it for the symptom of some sickness, so it was recommended for parents of yet Unmarked children always to check their bodies for the Soulmark before taking their kids to see a doctor.

In Daryl's case, however, the itch or pain was never felt because it blended with the itch of his many days without a shower, thanks to his father not paying the water bills for the past months; and the pain of the beating he suffered after pointing out that the fault for the lack of water was his father's. He remembered working extra shifts in those weeks so he could pay for the water but could not remember the Marking Moment. What he did remember was taking the first shower in weeks and aiding his new bruise while looking at the bathroom mirror and seeing it for the first time: a bigger circle surrounding a smaller circle, it was in a light shade of black, similar to a fading tattoo. He touched it with caution, afraid it was an illusion or the shape of a new scar. Its texture was rough again his finger and it barely had an inch. He smiled sadly to no place in particular and tears left his eyes quietly.

He wasn't one of the kids that believed that the Marking Moment was something to be celebrated and he knew that people could spend their whole life without meeting their One, especially people in his financial condition. He also knew, although not entirely proven, that the smaller and less bright a Mark was, the smaller was the chance of ever finding the matching Mark.

He remembered a book he read for school in the previous year for Literature about a woman who spent her whole life looking for her One, only to find out he died in the same year she was born, it was a classic that had many movie adaptations, but he chose to read it anyway. In the moment he first saw his Mark all he could think about was the woman's words at the end of the book: " _And I wasted my life on a goose-chase for someone who could never be found, for he ceased to exist the moment I began to. I dreamt of their face every day since the day I was Marked for the first time and it hurt me every day when I would go to sleep without them by my side. If I only knew their soul had left, I could have done more with this life I was given, I could even attempt to be happy without the help of destiny. Yet, I was stupid. Decades looking for what could never be found, much like my own happiness. My purpose in this life was a lie, nothing but smoke and mirrors. No more. Today I am free of the leash this Mark had on me. Today I walk free into the life and soul I now know is mine and mine only. Today is the death of my old dream, so a new one can begin."_

He thought, at that very moment, that no words could be more fitting to his own life story. He didn't have the means to chase his Mark around the world like she did but he was certain that, even if he did have the means, it would be a goose-chase like hers was. He didn't even perceive he was crying until he looked in the mirror again. He took his clothes off and took a shower, longer than usual, wanting to get rid of the awful sensations he had been through in the last hour. Daryl never spoke of his Mark again until the day Merle, many decades later, saw his back while they were leaving the prison. His brother tried to bring up the subject, however, Daryl interrupted him and refused to answer anything else that was asked about it. Like all of his other scars, he was ashamed and wanted to forget about it.

The discovery of his Soulmate was an accident, as most things in Daryl's life tended to be. He was riding with Paul to the Kingdom, they were in a gray 04' Fiat Multipla, one of the ugliest car Daryl had ever seen but it was in good conditions and they didn't have many options while they were being chased by a small horde of walkers that almost cornered them in the parking lot of an old pre-school. They should get back to Alexandria today but the Kingdom was closer and they had lost the small amount of food they originally brought with them.

Ezekiel - because Daryl refused to call him a king - allowed them to stay and feast with them, he also offered rooms and warm beds for the night. The two tried to refuse the offer, although when Carol showed up and smiled brightly at Daryl, he had a hard time resisting the woman who he cherished as part of his family.

His room was two doors away from Paul's, and before dinner, he went there to call the other man.  He knocked on the door and, after not obtaining any answer, opened it. Paul had his towel around his hips and his back was towards the door, the man was looking at himself in the mirror, accessing his new injuries.

"Dinner is served already?" The man asked when he saw Daryl's face through the mirror, even if Daryl was not looking at him. Daryl wasn't even listening what was being said, his eyes were fixed on the back of the other man. A perplexed look that became angry and hurt when Paul spoke next.

"See something you like?" Daryl could hear the smirk in the man's voice and he left the room without answering, shutting the door with more violence than necessary, making Paul jump in shock.

Jesus was used to the unusual behavior of Daryl, yet what just happened seemed more unusual because, at this point, Daryl never seemed truly bothered by the things Jesus had to say. He thought about chasing the archer and asking for answers, but he smiled at himself in the mirror once again, knowing it would be futile as any other time he tried to initiate a conversation with the man when he wasn't in the mood for talking - and he rarely was.

Daryl, unconsciously, walked to Carol's room and knocked on the door as soon as he realized where he was. She opened the door with a word on her lips, but it died as soon as she saw the look on his face. She opened the door enough for him to walk through. He walked in and started pacing from one side to the other, chewing his thumb and purposely letting his hair hide his eyes from view.

The woman exhaled slowly and approached him calmly, as one should do when approaching a wild and hurt animal. She touched his shoulder lightly and let her hand fall to his elbow. He didn't avoid her, so she assumed it was a good sign.

"What happened, Pookie?" His shoulders went up like he was trying to protect himself from the question and shrug at the same time. Her voice assumed the tone of a General when she kept on speaking, overcoming the initial maternal tone "C'mon, you can't fool me. I know something is going on. Tell me what it is and then we can plan the best course of action."

"Mah- he..." He breathed deeply. "He's mah- I don't..."

She was really worried now. Daryl wasn't a talker on most of the days, choosing to act or shrug instead. However, she never saw him at this loss-of-words state before. He didn't speak much so when he did speak, he would never waste his breath and would always say exactly what he wanted to say.

"Daryl, tell me: what happened? Is it something with Rick or Alexandria?" He shook his head without uttering a single word to try to explain. "Is it Maggie? The baby? Hilltop?" He kept on denying. "Is it about some other group? Walkers?" Still no answer from the man. "Did you- did you got bit?" She asked fearful for the answer, knowing he and Jesus had faced a small horde before deciding to drop unannounced at the Kingdom. Thankfully, he shook his head again.

"Sweety, if you don't tell me I can't know what's wrong. And if I don't know what's wrong, I can't deal with it."

"My Soulmark." He managed to say, barely above a whisper and frightened as she never saw him before. Not even when facing their worst enemies so far. The look on his face right now reminded her of those days after Beth's death. A sentiment of hopelessness and fear that had affected all of them for longer than she thought was possible to live through.

"You have a Soulmark? Or it just appeared?"

"Have one... Since I was fourteen." He looked directly at her for the first time. "And now I know who has one just like mine."

"You found your Soulmate?" Her eyes shone with mirth and a smiled enlightened her complexion. "That's great! It's so rare to find one nowadays." The smile disappeared from her face when she noticed that this discovery was the motive behind his strange mood. "Why aren't you happy? Who is it? Was it on a walker?"

"Nah. They're alive."

"Then why the long face? Is it someone from the Sanctuary?" Just saying the name of that place made her feel angry, even if all the matters among the four places were now resolved and peace had reigned between them for the last four months.

"Nah."

Even in moments like the ones they had been living for the past years, having a Mark still meant something. Yet, she was no fool into thinking having a Soulmate was necessarily a good thing, she was the living proof of how the Mark could be a curse. Back then, people who weren't Soulmates were allowed to get a divorce easily, but Bonded Soulmates couldn't.

Her Soulmate had reached her through an agency specialized in finding Mark-matches. It was the happiest moment of her life right until it became the worst years of her life. Ed had been her Soulmate and the truth happiest moment of her life was when he died. When her Mark burned with the pain of the death of a Bonded Soulmate, she smiled in between her tears and gasps of ache.

Which meant that she wasn't judging Daryl for his horrible reaction to the news like most people who only saw the Mark as something positive, but she needed to know who the person was so she could assess the situation. She needed to know if she would have to help her friend to hide it or if she should threaten the person.

"Who's it, Daryl? Who's your Soulmate?"

"... Paul." He said after a few moments of silence.

"Jesus? Your Soulmate is Jesus?" Her voice might have become a little high-pitched at the revelation.

"Shhh."

"Honey, of all the people you could ask for a Soulmate, I don't think he's the worst. Far from it. And you two have been friendly to each other, right? You only take trips like this with people you like or at least can bare for long periods of time."

When Carol heard his quiet weeping, she was the one at a loss for words. Confused by his reaction, she felt desperate to both sooth him and for him to explain to her what was happening. Through the years they had been friends she had learned many things about him and his behavior, she recognized that sorrow, those lowered shoulders that came when people had too much suffering, it now could be seen in almost everyone, but in the beginning, he was the only one who had them too. He was there for her when they didn't even like each other yet. Funny that she couldn't remember very well of said time. Daryl became a constant in her life, much like Rick, Carl, Glenn, and Maggie had.

Right now, though, she didn't know what was in his head or what to do to help him, she felt useless like she hadn't in a long time. Carol hated that feeling and anger built up inside her, the silent despair that sometimes overcame her thoughts when she laid in bed at night and the faces of all of those they lost emerged on her nightmares.

She knew that hugging him was not the best idea and it could easily backfire if he was in a mood for a fight. She did so, anyway, she was a brave woman, after all. She put her arms around his neck and lowered his head to her shoulders. Daryl was hesitant at first, but suddenly his arms were around her waist and their bodies were vibrating with the intensity of his cry. She respected his time and when someone knocked on her door she told them to leave her alone before they could open it.

"Better?" She asked after he released her. He nodded.

"You intend on telling me what made you act like this or am I going to have to figure it out?"

"Dinner first. I'm fuckin' starving."

Carol sighed, knowing defeat. She wasn't going to give up, but she supposed that the archer needed some time to process things in his head before saying something. And she was hungry, too. She hadn't eaten much today, invested in knife training the residents of the Kingdom.

They went to the large table that was settled on the courtyard and served themselves, later following to a table that was mostly empty. Less than fifteen seconds after, Jesus was sitting next to them, holding his plate of food. He wasn't displaying his characteristic side smile, seeming to sense that something was wrong.

"Hey, was looking for you. You ran faster from my room than you did from those walkers today."

Daryl pretended not to hear and Carol's interest was instigated by the words.

"Not in a talking mood, I guess. That's ok, you know I can talk for the both of us." He said with his smirk coming back in full force. His smile directed only at Daryl for a few seconds, before he seemed to notice that Carol was right next to him.

"We have a record to win, anyway. Today you managed to stay thirty minutes without telling me to shut up. A true record to be proud of. Our first trip he didn't last five minutes without telling me to shut up". He told Carol and the woman had to bit a smile that was threatening to appear without her consent.

Daryl was eating, head down and almost inside his plate. His hair was covering up pretty much all of his face. His shoulders were so tense that Carol was afraid he would pull a muscle.

"Once we made a bet for how long Daryl could go without talking at the prison, he lasted for almost five days. That's when Rick bet he would talk, so the cheater forced Daryl into talking."

She laughed at the old memory and Jesus laughed with her. She wondered how a man could still smile so easily after seeing all they've seen without being faking it, and most of the times he seemed genuinely happy. Very odd. Or perhaps he always seemed happy because every time she had seen him in these past few months was when he was with Daryl. Could it be...?

"What did Rick win?"

"A bunch of energy bars that were already too old back then." He laughed again at her words, but his eyes were paying careful attention to the man sitting between them.

Carol and Jesus talked some more, trading funny stories they had gathered during these years of unfortunate events, keeping the mood light and avoiding anything that seemed painful. If they were doing it for their own sake or for the sake of a heavy-hearted Daryl was anyone guess.

"Well, I'll go back to my room, then," Carol said while getting up.

"Me too." It was Daryl's brief response, following after her without even blinking at Jesus and leaving the other man awkwardly sitting around an empty table without knowing what to do with his hands and what to say.

One look and Carol could see right through Jesus façade: He wanted Daryl to keep him company, he wanted the man to participate in their conversation, he just wanted Daryl there next to him and not acting weirdly around him. Whatever had happened, Carol was curious to know.

"Did he saw your Mark, too?" She asked when they were far enough from their table.

"No. I saw his."

"Then you ran away without explication?"

"Kinda."

"You're an idiot." He looked at her, disturbed. "Well, you are. He's a good man, Daryl. Is more than you could expect from a Soulmate back then. Now? It's a goddamn miracle. You should give him a chance, even if you don't want to tell him about the Mark."

"Don't wanna talk about anything."

"Is it because he's a man? You know that this is stupid, especially when concerning two Soulmates. It was even a part of the Human Rights Bill! 'When same-sex Soulmates find each other they're entitled to the right of marriage regardless of any other laws in the territory against same-sex marriage'."

"You memorized the whole damn thing?"

"No. But I read it when I first Bonded. It sounded very beautiful in theory."

"It's all bullshit before. It's all bullshit now."

"Maybe. But even if my Soulbond was bad, I know most Soulbonds aren't. It's an amazing experience that can't be explained. It was really good before it got really bad for me."

"Don't want it to go bad."

"I can't promise you it won't. But Jesus is nothing like Ed. He's good. Rick trusts him. You trust him. Why would this change just because of a stupid Mark? Give him a chance, Pookie."

They arrived at her bedroom's door and she stopped before entering, looking right into Daryl's eyes and forcing him to maintain eye contact. Her voice was soberer than it was moments ago and her tone was tired and pleading.

"Give yourself a chance, Daryl." She smiled thinly and entered her room.

 

**II**

Daryl walked to his bedroom for the night, but he knew he would never be able to sleep after everything that had happened. He needed to burn some of that energy, to spend some of that fury and confusion on something other than Paul, otherwise, tomorrow during their trip back to Alexandria he was going to make things even worse. He was good at that.

He went back to the yard and left through the gates, even against the recommendations of the Kingdom's guards. He could've jumped the walls to the other side, fortunately, good sense won and he decided that letting someone know where to look for him in case he didn't come back was a good plan.

He walked aimlessly for a while, crossbow against his back and a knife on his waist. He wished for a cigarette and regretted smoking his last one over three weeks ago. All he wanted was to start a tobacco plantation in Alexandria, maybe next to the tomatoes Judith liked so much, then he would be a satisfied man. Maybe even a happy one.

Hmpf... Happy. What a joke. Dixons didn't know how to be happy without causing mayhem and destruction. That happy ending bullshit was not for him or men like him, it was for men like Rick, who had lost his Soulmate, Lori, and managed to find love again in the arms of another Soulwidow, Michonne, who was every bit as good as Rick was, if not more.

Happy endings were for men like Paul and Daryl was certain that he would never bring that to the man or anyone. He remembered those old stories about people who, after finding their Soulmate, became better people and were saved by love or shit like that. No one could do that for him. He was broke, too broken to fix. There wasn't enough love to fix him.

Daryl went back to the Kingdom when dawn was closing in, making the guards very relieved when he showed up unharmed. He walked to his room and slept in a few moments after resting his head on the pillow, the fatigue of the day - both physical and emotional - finally catching up with him.

"Daryl!" He heard a voice calling him and he got up abruptly, ready to kill, but not entirely awake. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

It was Paul and his pretty blue-ish green eyes, that were dangerously close to Daryl. They both retreated, aware of the small distance between them. Daryl swallowed saliva and looked down, trying to avoid those eyes.

"We have to go. Rick was expecting us last night, if we don't arrive soon they'll send a searching team for us."

"Probably already did." His voice was husky from the lack of use.

"Knowing them, yeah. They probably sent one first thing in the morning when you didn't arrive."

"We shoul' go."

"Yes, but you should eat first. They told me you stayed the whole night up, so I ate first, waiting for you to wake up."

"Will eat on our way."

"You don't have too. We can wait another twenty minutes for you to eat properly." He offered a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

Daryl didn't bother to respond, just grabbed his things and went out to grab something to eat on the road. He walked past the gates without even trying to find Carol to say goodbye to her, he already had too much to think without her putting other thoughts in his head. All he wanted was to go back to his bedroom in Alexandria and be at peace in a place that actually felt like home, this would help his head to stop hurting or so he hoped.

He stopped for one second, gazing at the horizon, which was made of the walls of the Kingdom, and wondered when he started to think of Alexandria as home. Maybe when Aaron and Eric invited him for dinner or maybe after he killed so many of the Saviors in the name of Alexandria, it was hard to know exactly when it happened and weird to think that he was completely fine with it.

"So, you've been avoiding me since last night," Paul commented after they were on the road for some long minutes of complete silence. Daryl had been pretending to sleep until now, but his unamused grunt made hard to continue the façade. "HA! Knew you weren't sleeping."

"Hard to sleep with all your talking."

"Joke's on you because I was quiet until now." He smiled briefly in Daryl's direction before turning his attention back to the road ahead. "Did I do something?" His voice was serious and Daryl hated himself a bit more for making the man stop smiling, he was always smiling.

"Nah."

"Hard to believe that after you ignored me during dinner last night and was faking sleep to avoid conversation."

"Always avoid conversation."

"Truth. But you stay quietly judging me, pretending that you can't hear what I'm saying. You even participate with insightful grunts and eye rolls sometimes or tell me to shut my mouth. Never pretends that you're sleeping, though."

"Not in the mood."

"Is it because I didn't listen to you when you said we should've gone to the utility store before the pre-school? Or is because of what I said after you barged in my room? I thought you were alright with it, you never got mad at me for it before. I can stop if you don't like."

Paul was venting, so nervous, so unusual. Daryl felt guilty.

He was uncomfortable with those jokes in the beginning, but not recently, he was used to it by now. The archer recalled being struck by surprise the first time Jesus said something like that to him and if it wasn't for Glenn's laugh right after, he didn't know what he would've had done. It made him tense and desperate in all the wrong ways in the first few times, now it was followed by his standard "Shut up, you prick".

"Just not in the mood."

"Not in the mood for jokes? Or talking?"

"Both."

"Ok."

They followed in a tense silence until they reached Alexandria's gates. Rosita was on duty watch today and, as soon as she saw them, she started yelling for people to open the gates and announced their arrival. Apparently, Rick had called a meeting at the Church with the group to decide who was going to go look after Daryl and Jesus a few minutes prior. The duo walked into the church and everyone stared at them, obvious relief showing on their faces.

"People did say that Jesus would come back," Jesus joked, breaking the silence and some people laughed and shook their heads.

"Are you two alright? What happened?" Rick was the first to ask, walking towards them.

"Damn horde separated us from our car," Daryl answered, clearly annoyed for losing one of their best vehicles.

"We spent the night at the Kingdom, it was closer, and we had lost all of our food," Jesus explained.

"And the batteries and gardening tools. Fuckin' walkers."

"At least you're back and alive," Rick told them and gave Daryl a short hug.

When they first met, Daryl could never have imagined the level of kinship that he and Rick would develop through the years. Almost every other person who tried to hug him would get shoved away, but never Rick. He would gladly die for this man or his kids and it used to scare Daryl how far he would go for these people. It didn't scare him anymore.

"How's Carol?" The ex-sheriff asked and suddenly the rest of their group was there, next to them, curious for information about their friend.

"Is fine." He didn't bother to articulate.

"Just fine?" Michonne arched an eyebrow at the man's response.

"She's alive. She's eating well. Training the people there to fight using knives." He said becoming irritated.

Everyone there could read him enough to know he was angry at something. Some guessed he might still be mad at her for moving out of Alexandria without even telling him and others thought he was annoyed for not being able to bring in the things he was supposed to. They were not completely wrong, he was feeling all of these, but only Jesus knew there was something more there, he just couldn't figure out what it was. Sometimes Daryl was so easy to read, wearing his heart on his sleeves... Well, sleeveless t-shirts. And sometimes he was impossible to read, guarded behind walls taller than Alexandria's.

Daryl excused himself to go back to his bedroom, muttering something about catching some sleep. No one in the room thought it weird, used to the cranky mood the man had after he thought he had failed. He followed to his room to try and get some sleep because his mind was too full and his body not yet recovered from the fall he suffered while trying to escape from the horde yesterday. Unfortunately, his mind didn't allow him not even one second of peace.

After almost two hours of turning on his bed without sleep, he left his room and went to Judith's bedroom. The little girl was babbling to the walls while seated on her cradle, her hair in disarray and only one little foot still had a sock on. She smiled and made grabbing hands when Daryl showed up at her door.

"Hey, Lil' ass-kicker!" He took her from the cradle and sat on the floor, legs stretched and the girl sitting on his knees.

His shy smile died as soon as he saw a mark inked in her left shoulder, an octagon in bright red color with a strange and tortuous pattern inside in a lighter tone, almost pink. He felt betrayed at seeing how even Judith was not helping him to forget the subject and felt sad for the little girl who probably was never going to find her own Soulmate and felt bad for finding his, while she deserved the chance to find hers much more than he did.

"Oh, is you. Hi, Daryl!" Carl said, tall and lanky, looking more and more like his mother at every passing day, except for his eyes.

"Hey." Daryl lowered his head at the memory of Lori, Rick's Soulbonded Soulmate who died to give life to the little girl he had on his hands at the moment. Rick's suffering through the days that followed her death flashed in his memory and all he could do was hate the Soulmarks even more, regarding them as nothing but an instrument of torture.

"When did this showed up?" He pointed with his chin in the direction of the Soulmark the baby bared on her shoulder.

"Two weeks ago, more or less. Dad's thinking about recreating a census for Soulmarks after this, to allow the new generation and other people to find their Matches or something like this. It's about building the new world and hope and blah-blah-blah. You know how he's been acting these last months, thinking about the future."

Carl's adolescent lack of interest on the subject was obvious, his Mark hadn't shown up until now and, against the usual behavior of teenagers from Daryl's early years, the subject brought him no anxiety or sadness. On contrary, he seemed happy for not having to deal with this particular ritual, even if Rick's own heart broke at the perspective that his son would never be able to experience what he once had with Lori.

Many kids of Carl's age or younger didn't have a Soulmark. The rumor around this fact was that the deaths of most adults had prevented the birth of most of the Soulmates of these kids, who now would be Unmarked for the rest of their lives. While most of the babies born in the past couple years were born with or had developed Marks, making some people believe that the "Soulmark Roulette" had restarted, allowing the cycle to continue.

"Do you wish you had one?" Daryl asked after a few seconds of silence.

"No. I saw what it did to my father." His voice no longer of a teenager, bearing the tone of a much older and wiser person. "I wish she didn't have one either."

He looked sadly at his sister as if he could see all the awful things in her future. Daryl shared that look, but it was as much about her as it was about himself.

Judith, on the other hand, seemed unaware of their looks or feelings of sadness and wasn't worried at all about her future, babbling nonsense to Daryl and Carl amidst some few recognizable words. Even if she was telling them all the secrets of the universe, at that moment, both men couldn't hear her, involved in their own thoughts and sorrows.

 

**III**

Two weeks passed and Daryl still hadn't told anyone but Carol about who his Soulmate was. Jesus went back to Hilltop two days after their arrival in Alexandria, two days that Daryl made everything he could to not be found by the man. He felt like a coward for playing hide-and-seek even if he didn't know a better way to deal with the situation. He was afraid that every second the man was around him, he was going to found out about their Marks. He was afraid that Paul was going to die any day now because it felt scarily possible that life was going to take this from him before even giving it to him properly. He was afraid that he would die and someone would find out and tell Paul, who would be pissed at him or, worst, glad that he had dodged that bullet. He was afraid that Paul would find out and hate him, not accept to be Bonded.

There were so many fears that Daryl left to a hunting trip the day after Paul's departure. He spent four days going out to hunt at dawn and only coming back after sunset, holding many dead animals.

Rick was glad that he was bringing meat to Alexandria's tables, however, he was worried about his friend. Daryl loved the outdoors and everyone knew that without even having to spend much time around him. Rick was not everybody and he knew that Daryl only went outside the walls when he felt they were closing in on him. He knew something was odd when Daryl was leaving for his fifth day of hunting and he stepped down from his guarding position, preparing himself to have a conversation with a man who was not fond of such a thing.

"Daryl." The archer stopped and looked at him, his expression was subtle but Rick could see he was nervous and ready to fight or flight. "Morning."

"Morning."

"Leaving already?"

"Gotta start early."

"Thought you had the morning shift today." Rick had put Daryl on duty watch alongside him to see if he could stop the man from running, to see if could talk to him.

"Traded with Eugene." This meant Daryl was going to catch the night shift, meaning that he was planning on staying away the whole day.

Rick wanted to trade his shift as well so he could go hunt with Daryl and - possibly - have a real conversation, but he knew that Daryl would run away before the ex-cop could get his supplies or he'd spend the entire day in silence. They had been through this before in the days after the farmer and during the prison and after the Terminal. Rick sighed and opened the gate for the other man, who seemed extremely relieved when he didn't make any further questions.

"Be safe out there, ok?" Daryl gave a few steps before Rick said: "You know that if you need talking, if you need anything, you can come to me, right?" Daryl nodded but kept walking away.

There wasn't anything else he could do except waiting for Daryl to make the first move.

Which obviously meant that he made Aaron, Tara, and Michonne try to talk to him. Rick was sure that it might be something that Daryl was particularly ashamed or afraid of discussing directly with him, whatever it might be. His plan backfired and no one was able to get more than a few words out of the man. He kept on going on runs or hunting outside the walls and Rick eventually had to abandon this strategy to spend some time planning the future of Alexandria and the other communities.

He focused on the old plans for expanding Alexandria and acquiring more houses and more space for plantations. He was planning on how to improve the communication between the four communities, diminish the time of the journey between them and increase security. He wanted to create groups made from people of different communities to guard the area around them, killing as many walkers as possible to make their area the safest, allowing people to travel between places without having to worry about every step. In the future, he wanted to make all them neighbors, growing their lands until this was possible, achieving the level of closeness that cities had before the apocalypse. He was dreaming big because he believed that now they had the opportunity to do so.

Also, he was focused on creating a census in every place, similar to the ones that used to exist before, facilitating for them to keep control of the number of livings, births, deaths and other important details that might be relevant, such as the Soulmark Register. He met Lori through this, he received a letter, when he was only 21 years-old saying that his Match was found in a town near his. She received the same letter and contacted him. They met a few days after and were married less than two years later. However bad the end was, the best years of his life were by her side and he wanted everyone to have this opportunity, much because an opportunity for happiness was exactly what they all needed.

After the two weeks had passed, Daryl came back of a three days scavaging run with Ethan and Sasha. He thought he had managed to avoid Rick successfully in the past ten days and was surprised to discover that he was wrong. Their leader was a tenacious man who obviously wouldn't let himself be defeated. Thereby, as soon as he arrived back, he found out that he had the night shift that day. Supposedly, he would share his shift with Ethan, who Daryl had nothing against and, better yet, was not close enough for the man to start conversations or ask questions he didn't want to answer.

Yet, when he reached the top of the wall to start his shift, he was surprised by the man who was already there. Paul had his coat on and was rubbing his gloved hands one against the other, generating some heat to warm his fingers.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Daryl muttered to himself, making Paul look at him. Of course, the man was smiling. Damn hippie. Now he couldn't go down and find someone to trade shifts with him. Damn Rick.

"Hey!" Paul greeted him. "Thought I was sharing with Ethan."

"Thought the same thing."

"Oh... Rick planned this, right?

"Yeah." He sat as far from Paul as he could in the few inches available.

"He told me that I should try talking to you, and I quote, 'figure out why he's acting like a scared cat'. I said no but, apparently, Rick's not good at taking no for an answer."

"Tell me about it. He's been nagging me for days."

"He worries about you because he cares about you. A lot of people do." Paul explained with a smile that was half smirk and half something completely different.

"Ain't his kid to be treated like that."

"No, not his kid. But I've heard he call you brother. And Maggie and Glenn always refer to you as family."

"Thought you weren't gonna talk to me."

"Oh, you know me, can't keep my mouth shut when you're around," Daryl grunted in response. "Oh, great, we're back at grunting. That's a good sign." Paul exclaimed, cheerfully.

Daryl just wanted this night to end.

He stayed silent for as long as he managed to, it was a shame that Paul was not intimidated by his lack of words anymore, on contrary, it seemed that the less Daryl talked, the more Paul had to say. His list of subjects varied from things he hated from before the apocalypse to presents that he scavenged and gave to people at Hilltop, and now he was talking about the meeting he and Maggie had earlier with Rick and some others, where they discussed ideas for the future.

"Rick has a vision for how our future will be. I never thought I would actually live enough to see people discussing the future with such certainty." He sounded nostalgic while talking about this so called plans. "He even wants to create a new Soulmark Register. Obviously, Maggie and Glenn think this is a great idea, but I'm not so sure."

That caught Daryl's attention and he almost choked on air.

"Why not?" He asked and regretted as soon as he finished.

"It's a long story." Jesus looked at Daryl, waiting for a protest or a dismissal, as it usually happened when he was about to tell a story.

"I was born Marked, so I always thought I'd find the Match. I used to dream about that when I was a kid. Marked orphans were lucky, they had something to hold on to that Unmarked kids didn't have."

"You adopted?"

"I was never adopted. My parents didn't want to... Deal with me when I was young, so I went from one group home to the other, until I was finally eighteen." Daryl had never heard that particular tone coming out of Jesus, who was always smiling and joking around. It felt so odd to not see a smirk on his face and to see a turmoil of feelings going through his blue-ish green eyes, always so full of mirth.

"Then I had this idea that I should go out and meet as many people as I could because my Soulmate would be among them, but it never was. Didn't gave much chance to any of my boyfriends because I was so sure that one day I'd meet the One and we'd Bond and I'd finally have someone to call my own, someone that would care if I lived or died, who would be family." He gave a depressed smile at the words he was saying, aware that they were ridiculous and he was pathetic for ever thinking those things.

"I tried looking for a Match on the public records of the Soulmark Register and even paid a private agency to try and find it. Then the end of the world happened and I had to accept the fact that I'd never find my One."

Then his smile was simply tired, his shoulders were down and Daryl witnessed, for the first time, Paul acting quiet and sad. Strangely, seeing the spirited man like this made him feel sick with himself, he felt like even a bigger coward, but lost between telling Paul and not meeting up to his expectations, which was obviously what would happen if he discovered that he had been waiting for someone like Daryl for his whole life; and not telling him and allowing him to wait for someone else, someone better. He didn't know what was crueler.

Suddenly, he saw tears running down the man's cheeks, reddened by the chilly weather of what they were assuming to be late October. Paul wasn't making any sounds, his tears appeared to be falling without his consent or knowledge as if they were an uncontrolled reflex to the memories he was telling Daryl about.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm crying... It's been so long, it shouldn't still affect me like this, not after everything everyone has been through since the world ended."

"The bad stuff that happened before don't stop being bad just because now things are worse." Daryl offered and Paul directed those blue-ish green eyes, extremely bright due to the tears, directly into the hunter's eyes. The happiness of minutes ago wasn't there yet, but, at least, some form of joy had found him again.

Paul moved a few inches closer to Daryl and the archer pretended for a few seconds that it didn't affect him, that the small delight that found its way into Paul's eyes was not his fault. Next, he moved his body in the direction of Paul's and they stayed there, not quite touching but not standing apart either. To anyone watching them from afar, it would appear that they were closer than they actually were... The two man didn't seem to mind such thing at the moment.

Morning came and they were relieved from duty by Abraham and Sasha. When they were in front of Daryl's (and Rick's, Michonne's, Carl's, Judith's) house, Paul looked at him and smiled, not his usual smirk and not that sad smile of the previous night, but a different one. Daryl thought he had seen that particular smile on the man before even if he couldn't remember when or why. Jesus thanked him and kept walking until he reached the house that used to be Maggie's and Glenn's, where the three of them were staying while in Alexandria.

Now, Daryl laid distressed in his bed.

He felt fatigued physically due to his last few days scavenging followed by a night of watch duty, albeit, his mental and emotional fatigue were much bigger than the physical one. His mind was lost in memories of the words Paul had told him last night and the many times Paul was around him being his usual cheerful prick self. The memories of those times didn't seem to fit the words spoken by the man last night.

He wondered what was wrong with himself. He went through hell during his whole life and was never able to smile easily like Paul did and he, as well, had gone through his own portion of hell during life. It made Daryl feel even more broken and unfixable and wrong. He could never tell Paul about their Marks because that could be the man's breaking point, the last straw to ruin his hopeful state forever. Daryl didn't want to be the motive that would bring tears to Paul's eyes never again.

He only managed to fall asleep hours later, the covers covering him from head to toes.

 

**IV**

"Hey, you! Thought you wouldn't wake up before I had to leave," Maggie said to Daryl when she saw him going through the door of his house and stretching on the porch.

"Night shift." He explained and looked at her and her six months pregnant belly, visible even through her large clothes.

"I know, Jesus told me." She saw something changing in the eyes of the man in front of her but was unable to name it, so she didn't comment. "When are you going to Hilltop? It's been almost a month since you last went there. I miss you, Glenn, too."

She climbed the steps of the front porch and sat in the top one, looking at Daryl until the man sat next to her.

"Thought the doctor said you should be resting."

"As if I could stay on my bed all day any more than you could." She gave his arm a nudge with her shoulder.

"Don't like staying still for too long."

"Neither do I." She said, closing the subject. "Rick had things to discuss with us."

"He could've gone there."

"He could, but I wanted to come here and see you all. I'm missing you, all of you."

"After you get the baby, will you come back here? To live with us?" She made a face and he instantly knew her answer.

"I don't know. It's complicated, I guess. Gregory left the place and no one wants to do his job."

"Paul could."

"He wouldn't. He's just like you, likes to be far from the spotlight. I tried talking to him about it and, when I realized, I was the one in command."

"The prick."

"Yeah." They chuckled together for a few seconds that made both hearts feel lighter than they had been in days. "And he spends too much time traveling between the communities. He loves the outdoors. Three days inside the walls and he starts to go crazy... Much like someone I know." She looked at him through her lashes, a smirk that could rival Jesus' on her face.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, just that the two of you are much more alike than you'd like to admit."

"He's a prick." He smiled, no heat behind the word.

"Oh, and you're so much better!" She said sarcastically, it was meant at a joke, a little banter between family but it hit too close to Daryl's actual feelings and the quirk of his upper lip was gone.

"I'm really not." He said defeated.

"Daryl, I didn't mean it like that. You're great. One of the best of us." She placed her hand on his jaw and lightly forced him to turn his gaze on her. "Don't ever doubt that, Daryl. You are good."

"Just not enough..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She inquired and he escaped her touch. "Daryl! What's going on? Rick told me you've been weird lately, going outside every day, taking only the night shifts, avoiding conversation more than usual. Are you alright? Is something going on? Rick has been worried sick about you avoiding him and not doing shifts with him. We worry about you. I worry about you, even if I'm not by your side every day anymore. We are family and family worries even if they're apart."

He stayed silent, letting her words sink in, trying to find a way out of this conversation. He should've known that Maggie passing through his house was not a coincidence, it was carefully planned by her and Rick. How could he say everything that was going inside him without revealing who his Soulmate was? It was impossible, especially to Maggie, she was smart and would figure things out faster than he'd like.

"I don't wanna talk about it, Maggie. Just leave it alone. Tell Rick to do that, too."

"Daryl..."

"Is none of your business." He said roughly, feeling that she was closer to cracking him than all the others who tried in these past two weeks.

"We're family, Daryl. Everything I do and feel is your business and same goes to you. You don't get to choose when we should care and when we shouldn't. That's not how it works."

"It's personal."

"That's exactly why it's our business. Family, Daryl. Whatever you did, we'll back you up."

He sighed deeply and murmured something about "damn farm girls who were too smart for their own good" and let the feeling of defeat wash over him. He had lost this discussion the moment he decided to sit next to her. Although, it didn't really feel like a defeat because he was feeling proud of her, seeing the woman she became and the leader she was becoming.

"I found my Soulmate." He told her quickly, like ripping off a band-aid.

"Oh, my god! Who? Do I know them? What a stupid question, it's the end of the world, I know pretty much everyone that's left."

"Who's not important."

"How can that not be important?"

"It's complicated."

"Is it someone from the Sanctuary?" She asked worriedly. Why everyone assumed that was beyond Daryl.

"Not important."

"Yes, of course." She said supportively. "If they're from the Sanctuary we still would support you and allow them to move here with you. That's exactly why Rick wants to make a Register, in the small chance that we can find alive Soulmates between the communities. And people being able to transit between the places is strategic to this."

"I wasn't registered before."

"What? You've been Marked since when?"

"I was fourteen. Never told anyone about it. People like me didn't get the chance to look for their Matches. And I didn't want my Soulmate finding me and getting dragged into my life." His head was down, his eyes fitting the grass and he began to chew his thumb. Maggie recognized the signals.

"That's what've been bothering you? That they won't like what they'll find?"

"Something like that." He shrugged.

"Let me tell you something: that's not possible. And not just because you're gorgeous and a wonderful person." He snorted. "You are. But also because it's impossible to not love your Soulmate. Once you Bond, your feelings only grow and it's the most delicious heartache to be connected to someone on this level."

"That's not how it was with Carol."

Maggie nodded in agreement, seeing that this problem had a deeper root than she thought it would have. She never met Carol's husband, but she knew the man was a piece of shit who treated her like garbage. She got mad just thinking about it, she couldn't understand how someone could do that to another person, especially one that they were Bonded with.

The Bond was a deep connection of the Soul that came after both parts accepted to share it voluntarily, after all, it was originally only one Soul that had divided into two to allow people to later decide to join it again. The depth of the connection felt by the two people who shared a Soul was different from everything else Maggie had ever experienced. She could feel Glenn's pain and happiness and anger and love and sadness and she could know if he was alive or dead, well or in danger because of this bond. It was more than sharing a Soul, it was becoming someone else and letting someone else become you, no secrets in between. It was beautiful and breath-taking and everyone deserved the chance to feel this, even if just for one day.

"Most Soulbonds don't turn out like Carol's. She was the unfortunate exception. No one is going to hurt you, Daryl, at least not before going through me first because if something like this happens to you, I'll kill that person myself." She was serious and she meant it.

"It's Paul." He finally said and she was caught by surprise, in shock.

They stayed silent for a few minutes, unable to think of something to say. He was feeling insecure and sure that Maggie wouldn't want to involve her new friend in the mess that Daryl was. Maggie was taken aback by the irony of Jesus' life, she knew all he went through and how he always wanted to find his Soulmate and it truly seemed like fate that his Soulmate would show up years later, at the end of the world and he would like this man before even knowing that they shared this connection.

"You have to tell him."

"I don't want anyone connected to me like that, Maggs. He don't deserve the pain I have in me, the anger, the- No one deserves that. Only me."

Her eyes were wet as she looked at him, her heart breaking for the man. Maggie laid her head on his shoulder and hugged his arm, bringing him closer to her. She felt him calming and her own heart was calming. Through her connection, she could feel that Glenn was worried about her and she knew he was going to come and find her, so she didn't have much time.

"Daryl, you don't deserve any of that either. I said before and I'm going to say again: You're a good man. You deserve happiness. Bonding with Jesus will bring you happiness, trust me. But the Soul knows when a Bond wants to be made and when it doesn't, so I won't tell him and I won't force you to do it because you have to be ready for it. But you should do it, you should allow yourself to be happy. You really deserve it." She kissed his cheek and released his arms.

These were the same words Carol had uttered to him weeks ago. He wondered briefly if the two of them had been in touch somehow. It didn't seem possible that these many people taught that he deserved Paul and the chance to be happy.

Not even thirty seconds later, Glenn was walking towards them, a worried look on his face.

"Maggs, are you ok? I felt you-"

"Everything's ok. It's just that Daryl told me he wanted to go in to take a shower, it surprised me too much." She smiled and held her laugh as Daryl stared annoyed at her.

"Oh, that is weird." Glenn agreed. He felt, through their connection, that she was just joking and that the truth would come at a later time, so he played along and pretended to not know what was in her heart. At least, she seemed at peace now.

"Screw you two, assholes."

"Daryl, language! My baby can hear your dirty mouth!" Glenn defended.

"Ass-holes." He said jokingly and walked to the door.

"Where are you going?" Maggie asked.

"Take a damn shower."

He closed the door with unnecessary force. Maggie and Gleen laughed until their bellies hurt. Daryl stayed behind the closed door listening to that sound, delighting himself in making two of the people he loved the most happy like that.

Maybe it wasn't so hard as he thought. Maybe he could make Paul happy. Maybe everything was not lost, there was a light at the end of this darkness. Maybe, once again, the end of the world, would give him the things he wished for when he was stuck in the dreadful reality of the old world. If in this world he had found friends and family what was stopping him from finding a Soulbond and love? He wasn't sure if he deserved such things, but he was sure as hell that he should try and have it all.

They could all die tomorrow and this was a chance in a lifetime for happiness, however short it could be, he felt that it would be worth it.

 

**V**

He sat on the sofa of their house chewing the nail from his thumb, anxiety pumping his heart faster than normal. He almost jumped when Rick opened the door. He had been waiting for half an hour sitting there, trying to muster enough courage to say what he had to say.

"Hey, didn't know you were home. Weren't you going with Tara to the Kingdom?"

"Rosita went with her."

"Ok." Rick knew something was wrong, first because Daryl never refused a chance to go out, especially in these past few days. Second, because his body language was screaming that he was very nervous, never a good sign.

"I gotta tell you something."

Rick nodded and sat on the couch at the opposite end of where his friend was. He started to feel nervous as well, he had been making all sorts of schemes to make Daryl talk to him and it was finally paying off. Apparently, Maggie was the lucky charm this time. When Rick was saying his goodbyes to her, she told him that he shouldn't worry and, sooner or later, Daryl would come to him. He didn't expect to be so soon, though, Maggie had left yesterday.

"I have a Mark."

"Yeah, I've seen it." Daryl looked at him, surprised.

"We hunted together a lot after the farm and I had to patch you up that time you fell from that tree after we chased those skinny rabbits, remember?" Daryl had completely wiped that memory away from his mind, but Rick's words made it surface again, the whole day coming back to him.

"You never said anything."

"It was not my place to say something. Back then, everyone was losing their Soulmates. T-Bone had found his Match in a corpse less than a week before. I assumed yours was like that, something you didn't want to talk about, like the other marks on your back."

Rick fixated his eyes on Daryl's, letting his emotions and intentions visible for the other man to see. His voice was as neutral as he could, he knew Daryl would not appreciate pity from him or anybody else.

"You knew?" He seemed like a child, caught in the act, afraid of what was to come.

"I knew. It never changed a thing for me. You're my best friend, my brother, since that time."

Daryl lowered his head again, his fringe covering up whatever emotions were going through his face at the moment and Rick gave him the time he needed to recompose himself. There was no use trying to rush Daryl into speak, he learned that the hard way in these past weeks.

Some minutes later, Daryl lifted his head up and looked straight into Rick's eyes, a look of resolution on his face, similar to the one he had when they were about to go on a mission or when hunting, ready to deal with anything.

"Thank you." He nodded and Rick nodded back, staring back into Daryl's eyes. Simply like that, the subject was dealt with by both men.

"I found my Soulmate." He saw the change of expression on Rick's face, about to make a commentary or ask questions about it, so he hurried before he lost his courage. "It's Paul. He doesn't know. I didn't want to tell him, but now I do."

"Do you want to Bond with him?"

"I do."

"That's wonderful. I'm happy for you, Daryl." He patted his friend's shoulder, showing one of his most genuine smiles.

"That's why I didn't go with Tara. I have to go to Hilltop, to tell him... See if he'll want to Bond."

"Of course he will. He's crazy about you."

Seeing the confused look on Daryl's face, Rick smiled broader and continued to speak: "You're the only one who hasn't noted. He's always smiling when he's around you, it's very sweet. He even follows you around in runs for Alexandria when he has no obligation of doing so. Maggie complained that I was trying to steal him from Hilltop and using you as bait." He laughed and was glad to see Daryl's complexion softening.

"Go get your man."

"I will." Was all Daryl said before leaving the house, his bag was already at the corner next to the door.

He took the ugly car he and Jesus had found at the pre-school days ago and started driving. His mind was running a thousand miles per hour and so was his heart, although he never felt his heart lighter than he did at the moment. He didn't bother to care for the walkers he passed, he just wanted to arrive as soon as possible.

A few hours later he arrived at the gates of Hilltop and, as soon as he exited his vehicle, the gates were opened for him. He took his bag from the car and walked in on foot. He saw Gleen and the man smiled at him, walking to greet him enthusiastically, even if he seemed a little worried about this surprise visit.

"What're you doing here? Something happened?"

"Nah. Is all good. Paul's here?" Then Glenn made an understanding face.

"He's in his trailer."

"Ok."

"We'll catch up later, right? I'll be expecting you for dinner." He yelled while Daryl gave purposeful steps in the direction of Paul's trailer.

He knocked at the man's door, who opened it quickly. The look of bewilderment on the man's face was priceless.

"Daryl?"

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure." He stepped out of the way to let him in. "Is everything ok? Did something happen?"

"Nah. Just... Close the door, please?" He asked, suddenly very shy again, intimidated by his plans.

Jesus closed the door and waited expectantly for what Daryl was here for. His eyes almost popped out of his skull when Daryl started to take off his vest and then his gray shirt. He was only ten percent sure that this was reality and not one of his wet dreams.

"It's- I-" Daryl seemed speechless, completely tongue-tied. He turned away and bared his back to the other man.

The first thing Jesus saw were the wounds, there were so many of them and most appeared to be old, too old to be a result of this new world. Jesus' heart constricted in his chest, he had some scars similar to those on his upper legs and arms, the result of living under a roof that wasn't really his, shared with other kids who didn't want or knew how to make friends, much more interested in reciprocating the abuse they had suffered.

Then, he saw it. The same Mark he had on his own back since the day he was born. Same color, same size, same everything. It was a perfect match. He let the air out without being able to pronounce any coherent word.

"Saw your mark when we're at the Kingdom," Daryl told him after the silence had stretched to an uncomfortable level.

"That's why you ran from my room." He stated, smiling relieved. He had traced the beginning of Daryl's bad mood to that moment, but he still hadn't figured out what had made him act like that.

Jesus approached Daryl, hands ready to touch until he stopped himself lees than one inch away from the man's exposed skin.

"Can I?" Daryl nodded, shoulders down and face red in shame.

He touched the Mark and, once again, tears began to fall, but this time he had a real smile on his face. He traced both circles with his fingers, amazed by the similarity it had with his own. Jesus had dreamt about this moment for so long that he wished to never wake up if this was a dream. Unable to control himself and the burst of joy inside him, he embraced Daryl, lacing his fingers above the archer's heart. He laid his cheek on his back, in direct contact with the Mark.

They stayed like this for a minute, Daryl without knowing what to do with his hands and Jesus feeling the man's heart beating rapidly against his hands. Before letting go of Daryl, Jesus withdrew only enough to look at the Mark one more time, where he put a kiss seconds later.

The smile on his face made Daryl's heart miss a few beats when they were facing each other again. It was an expression of utter happiness, the sort of thing that people didn't feel since the end of the world. It felt weird to be partly responsible for putting such a look on someone else's face.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I panicked, so I run fr-"

"No, not at the Kingdom. But the day before last, when we were on watch together."

"I was afraid."  Jesus asked 'of what' using only his eyes. "You gettin' disappointed because you waited your whole life for... Me."

"I did. I really did. And you found me."

"Too late."

"No, no. You found me when you had to. It's the end of the world, Daryl. You could've been killed a thousand times in a thousand different ways. You could've had chosen to go anywhere else in the world, followed south or west. You could've done so many tiny different things that would lead you away from me, but you found me. You found me."

The tears kept on falling and he knew he was making a fool of himself, but it was beyond his control. There was nothing he could do to stop himself from feeling all of those things that he was feeling. In Daryl's eyes, he could see unshed tears, and he touched Daryl's jaw with both hands, forcing their eyes to find each other. Blue-ish green against blue. A silent challenge for who would deflect first. A challenge that Jesus gladly lost in favor of bringing their faces closer, tasting the lips of the man he had been waiting his whole life to meet.

Daryl was reluctant at first, marveled by the novelty of it all. He didn't remember the last time he had been kissed and he could not recall if it ever was this good, this urgent.

Suddenly, he felt dozens of different feelings, feelings he took some moments to understand that weren't his. He was feeling what Paul was feeling, their hearts beating in sync and a sensation of being connected that was new and strange and great and scary and was his but was also Paul's. He knew he'd never be able to put into words what he felt at that moment.

After the kiss, Paul licked his own lips and Daryl touched his cheek, wiping away tears that he didn't realize he had shed.

"Was that... Was that a Bond?" Paul asked, uncertain.

"Think so."

"It's not what I expected. It's crazy!" Paul exclaimed and Daryl agreed.

"It's like you're inside me," Daryl spoke, trying to make sense of the sensation.

"Well, that can be arranged." Paul gave one of his dirtiest smirks and arched his eyebrows with malicious intent.

Daryl saw the look, but also could feel inside him what was going through Paul's head. He blushed understanding the meaning of his words and thoughts. He suddenly felt extremely exposed. Being without his shirt, especially considering that Paul had his coat on, wasn't helping either. Paul understood what Daryl was thinking and feeling without a single word.

He took off his coat, maintaining eye contact with Daryl during the whole process. He took Daryl's hand and guided him to his bed, a few steps further from where they were standing previously. He took off the long sleeve shirt he was wearing and stopped in front of Daryl again, close enough to touch and rested his hand on Daryl's hipbones, looking up into his eyes.

Dozens of distinct feelings going through them, a collision of sensations inside them that was so good they didn't want to move and ruin it. Their hearts in sync, their breaths in sync and their feelings at sync. It seemed surreal, something out of a fantasy, too good to even resemble the harsh reality they were both accustomed to.

And at that moment, when Daryl was no longer just one, he felt whole for the first time in his life, no longer a broken thing anymore. He was finally fixed.

And Jesus felt that he finally belonged somewhere, that he had found family and love. He relished on the fact that his Soulmate cared if he lived or die even before they knew what they meant for each other.

They kissed again and kept on loving each other in a way they had never really loved anyone or anything else in life. Their connection growing stronger with every touch and every touch burning their skin without hurting it. It was inebriating to be this close, this connected to someone else.

It was only understandable that they never showed up for dinner that night or for breakfast in the next morning, they were compensating for all the decades they had been apart in one night. They owed to themselves to feel this alive for as long as they could. After all, they all could be dead tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used Paul during Daryl's POV and Jesus for everyone else because I don't think Daryl can even think of Paul as Jesus. 
> 
> The tittle belongs to Halsey's song "Sorry". I'm in love with her new album and was all I could listen to while writing this fic.
> 
> In case you skipped the first notes, the next chapter is only a glossary that I didn't want to put in the end notes.
> 
> Thank you for reading! Hope it was worth your time! Let me know what you thought in the comments! =*


	2. Soulmate Glossary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, obviously, got carried away and made this. I have no self-control.

MARKED: People that have a Soulmark.

MARKING MOMENT: The moment a previously Unmarked person becomes Marked. People have related to feeling itch or pain during the Marking Moment and common sense associated the feeling as an omen about the Bond that would come out of that particular Mark.

MATCH: Someone that has the same Mark as someone else, meaning that their Marks are a match: same size, location on the body, color, intensity, and design.

ONE: A common way to refer to a Soulmate, usually used by people who have yet not found theirs. It's a term that became most famous thanks to its use in romantic novels about Soulmates, that later was used in many romantic songs and movies as well.

SOULBOND/BOND: The consented act of two (or more) Soulmates of connecting to the other, making their divided Soul become one again. Being Bonded means that one Soulmate has free access to the other Soulmate's emotions. Usually, when the Soulmates are members of the same family, friends or already in a relationship with someone else, people choose not to Bond with their Soulmate. The Bond can only be made when both Soulmates want to be Bonded.

SOULBONDED: Soulmates who have chosen to Bond with each other.

SOULMARK REGISTER: A census made by every country in the past two hundred years to facilitate Marked people find their Match. Countries traded information among them for the cases in which Soulmates were from different countries. The quality of the Register from every country could vary, implying in a higher or lower rate of people being able to find their Soulmate. People had free access to this Register in most countries.

SOULMARK ROULETTE: It's a theory that was born out of legends. It's said that after grand events that lead to the death of a large number of people, such as wars and plagues, the device/entity that separate the souls rebooted the process to compensate for the great number of people who lost their Soulmates in the process.

SOULMARK/MARK: A figure that exists on the body of a Soulmate, resembling a tattoo. The image can be in many colors, sizes, and forms. People can be born with it or develop one during their lifetime, usually the first twenty years. The Mark is connected to the Soul and Soulmates have the exact same Mark because they share the same Soul.

SOULMATE: A person that shares their Soul with someone else.

SOULMATES: Two (or more) people that share a Soul.

SOUL-MULTIPLE-SPLIT: When a Soul is divided into more than two people, usually three, but registers had up to five people sharing the exact same Mark.

SOULWIDOW/SOULWIDOWER: Originally, the term was used to speak of Soulmates, Bonded or not, whose Soulmate died. However, it had been used exclusively for Soulbonded Soulmates for many centuries.

UNBONDED: Soulmates who didn't Bond.

UNMARKED: People who don't have a Mark, it can refer both to people who haven't yet developed one or people who never will have one.


End file.
